Money, partners and whānau: talking about it when one of you loses a job

Having the conversation

1. Choose a calm time, not in the middle of an argument or in front of children.
2. Start with the facts: what's coming in, what's going out, how many weeks of buffer.
3. Say how you feel, then listen. Shame and fear are normal and often come out as anger or silence.
4. Agree three things: this month's budget, who does what (calls, forms, job search), and when you'll check in again.
5. If either of you hid debts or spending, aim for a fresh start: list everything now.

Partners and Work and Income

• Work and Income looks at combined income for couples. The combined Jobseeker Support rate for a couple with no children is $633.94 a week after tax, and $669.40 for a couple with children. Check how a partner's income affects what you get.
• Both partners may have obligations, depending on circumstances (the partner may need to look for work). Ask Work and Income.
• If one partner is working, the other may still get a part-rate payment depending on the combined income.
• If you're separated or the relationship isn't safe, tell Work and Income; they have separate processes and support.

Children and whānau

• Be honest in an age-appropriate way: 'We're being careful with money for a while; we'll be okay.' Children notice when adults hide things.
• Keep routines: meals, bedtime, school. Ask the school about food and costs support.
• Check Working for Families: the family tax credit is $151.91 per week for the first child and $123.78 for subsequent children (check current rates and update your income estimate with IRD).
• Whānau support is a strength. Agree what help looks like (a meal, childcare, a loan with terms) so goodwill survives.

Joint accounts, debts and property

• Know what's in whose name: joint debts mean each person can be chased for the whole amount.
• Review joint accounts and direct debits together. Move bills to the day income arrives.
• A partner who isn't named on a loan may still be liable for relationship property debts in some cases. Check with Community Law.
• Think about wills, KiwiSaver beneficiaries and insurance beneficiaries, which are easy to forget and matter in a crisis.

When it gets heavy

• Money stress and relationship strain go together. Talk to a GP, counsellor or whānau you trust.
• Call or text 1737 (free mental health support) any time. Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (text 4357).
• Free financial mentoring: MoneyTalks 0800 345 123 (text 4029).
• If you feel unsafe at home, call 105 (non-emergency Police) or 111 in an emergency. Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843 (24/7); Family Violence Information Line: 0800 456 450 (9am to 11pm daily).